Growing up in a house dominated by men (my poor mom) we didn?t cry very much. Someone had to be in a lot of physical pain to warrant tears or have something heartbreaking going on.
Unless we were watching Lassie. Then all bets were off.
Since I don?t have a sister the only feminine influence in our home was Mom and so I was minimally aware of how emotional women are. When I happened to see a chick flick I thought:
?Girls don?t really cry that much, do they??
As the father of a little girl I have come to learn that girls cry a lot. Especially little girls. Like all the time. About everything. And it?s not necessarily a bad thing.
Women are naturally more emotionally charged than men. That?s just the way they?re wired. In some cases this is a blessing because I think women are more inclined to feel compassion and express empathy for others.
Men are more cerebral when it comes to emotions. We see a need and we think, ?That?s a problem. Here?s how to fix it.? and we either try to fix it ourselves or refer the ?problem? to someone who can. Like a dirty diaper for example.
This has presented a challenge in trying to related to Peaches when she is crying. Seeing tears I think like any normal dude, ?There?s a problem. Here?s how to fix it.? The trouble is the tear-filled eyes of a toddler aren?t like a leaky faucet. You can?t twist the wrench a little tighter and the water works suddenly stop. In fact there isn?t a single tool in your toolbox that?s designed to stop tears. Craftsman really dropped the ball.
In these moments Peaches has a hard time communicating. She can?t always explain what is wrong or why she is crying. Which by the way makes my male, fix-it brain short circuit.
Slowly (she?s 5 years old now) Daddy has learned to simply?hold her in his arms until the tears run out and the sniffling abates.
Last night I was getting clothes ready for this morning and I heard crying (again) from down the hall. Walking into the bathroom I find Peaches brushing her teeth with tears streaming down her face.
After acting like an idiot and asking her why she was crying for the billionth time I gently picked her up, sat down on the stairs, and wrapped my arms around her while she leaned on my chest for a few minutes. Then I calmly told her,
?Peaches, Daddy loves you very much. I want you to be happy. When you?re sad, Daddy is sad and I want to fix it. Sometimes I can figure it out, but you need to use your words to help Daddy. It?s okay to cry if you?ve got an owie or your feelings are hurt, but try to use your words too so Daddy can help.?
I kissed her on the forehead and she smiled (success!) and said, ?I?m just really tired.? (score!! Daddy can fix that.)
I brought Peaches downstairs to kiss Mommy good night, carried her back up to bed, tucked her in and we prayed together. And as I left she said the 4 words that melt my heart every time I hear them.
?I love you, Daddy.?
I love you too, Peaches. More than you will ever know.
Source: http://www.somewiseguy.com/girls-cry/
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